Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

I read this book first, and then my wife was so intrigued by my interest that she read it as well. My wife is normally not a reader of non-fiction, but this title held her attention to the very end. Both of us later described this volume by remarking, "This guy is so right on target with his description of what makes men/women tick!"

Leman is a devout Christian, and as such remains within biblical guidelines in his sexual advice. He definitely is NOT however, puritanical by any means. He describes sex in marriage as a gift from God to be thoroughly enjoyed, not as a necessary evil to be endured.

For years as a pastor I've recommended one other particular title to newlyweds as an "all-you-wanted-to-know-about-sex-but-was-afraid-to-ask" book. I am so impressed that this title will now replace it. Buy it for your marriage, read it in your marriage, and learn even more about this wondrous gift God has provided!


This book will save your marriage!   February 19, 2003
154 out of 157 found this review helpful

This is truly the most incredible marriage book I have ever read! Dr. Leman is just so right-on about what makes men tick and what drives them sexually (and its more in-depth than one would think!). It made me realize that men are not just after the sex, per se, but the intimate connection that sex provides for a couple. He has such incredible insight about the role of sex in a marriage and he backs it all up biblically - making sex within marriage not just right, but mandated by God! Christians and non-Christians alike will appreciate his insight into what makes men and women tick (its scary how well he gets inside a womans mind AND body) and this book would benefit any marriage having difficulties of any kind, or even none at all. Finding the common ground on sex can be so difficult - just the introduction of this book cleared up so many issues in my mind. I can't begin to say how highly I recommend this book to everyone - I am just so thankful to Dr. Leman for such a clear look into the mind of my husband!


A Stirring Classic --- Encore!   January 24, 2004
FaithfulReader.com (New York, New York)
87 out of 87 found this review helpful

Psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Kevin Leman pulls back the sheets on the scintillating subject of sexual intimacy in his latest book, SHEET MUSIC. While it's a return of sorts to the territory that he covered in SEX BEGINS IN THE KITCHEN, Leman uncovers much more ground in this revealing look at the secrets to connubial bliss.

"It's not just a how-to-do-it manual," writes Leman. "This is more of a do-it-yourself look at why to do it and how to do it better." With his trademark wit and wisdom, Leman offers couples no-nonsense guidance for creating and keeping a satisfying sexual relationship.

The provocative primer includes 31 ideas for sensual surprises, including a racy recipe for creating a chocolate bath complete with whipped cream. Also included for readers are helpful suggestions for identifying and satisfying not only the needs but also the desires of their spouses.

"One of the most loving and holy things you can do in marriage is to provide a sexually fulfilling pursuit of your husband or wife," Leman writes. "Therefore without apology, this is the most explicit book I've ever written. Probably everybody will be offended by at least one thing I say in this book."

Leman confesses that the book was the hardest to write of the 25 titles he's written to date and even goes so far as to include a brief note to readers, admitting that part of what is included in the book may be too forward for some. For readers in premarital counseling specifically, he suggests saving the second half of the book for the honeymoon.

In the chapter titled "A Very Special Connection," Leman addresses several of the more common sexual positions and even some of the not-so-common ones. Later in the book, he is supportive of oral sex, devoting an entire chapter to "Oral Delights."

Throughout the book, Leman stresses the need to consider the appetites of one's spouse and suggests never coercing them into any type of sex act unwillingly. The law of love is to rule in the bedroom as much as any place else, he maintains.

Arguably somewhat graphic in places for a Christian sex guide, the book nevertheless excels at confronting unhealthy sexual inhibitions in the name of liberating couples' God-given passions for their own good.

While not for the faint of heart, SHEET MUSIC is a much-needed resource for recovering sexual intimacy in marriage. Leman has composed a stirring classic, moving readers to create beautiful music together. Encore!

--- Reviewed by Sean Fowlds


Very insightful, overlook the writing style   April 28, 2005
A Reader (Montana)
51 out of 55 found this review helpful

Most Christian books on sexuality dance around honest questions regarding the basics of sexual intimacy and fundamental biological differences between men and women. I grew up in a Christian environment and am familiar with the evangelical approach to sexuality: a curious mix of "Don't ask, Don't tell" and the sentiment that if you're a good person and you communicate with your spouse, the two of you will just figure it out.

From that perspective, "Sheet Music" is a breath of fresh air for mainstream Christian couples, providing plain straightforward answers to some very blunt questions (including special considerations for first-time lovers, positions that please a woman, improving ejaculatory control, creating a lifestyle that nurtures intimacy on all levels, etc.)

Dr. Leman does well to communicate that God created sex for the pleasure of monogamous couples, and Christians should not feel shame in talking very candidly about sexual matters. But, he shatters his own credibility with a frequently awkward tone and substandard schoolboy attempts at wit that wind up more irritating than personable. Perhaps, in an attempt to show his liberty in discussing sexual matters, he over-compensated in his use of sexual innuendo and cheap locker room jokes. As a person who has spent quite a bit of time both in the church and away from it, I found myself thinking repeatedly, "What's he doing? Don't I get enough of this from my buddies at work?"

Writing style aside-I would've given the book a five out of five otherwise (!)-I don't know of any other book on Christian shelves that deals with sexuality in such a comprehensive manner. I will definitely recommend it to other couples with the encouragement that they overlook the writer's half-baked humour... and trust that the insights offered are quite beneficial.


Excellent Book! Sometimes surprising, Solid & Biblical   August 5, 2004
JMM (Conn. USA)
41 out of 42 found this review helpful

As a minister I was very pleased at the solid teaching Dr. Leman gives in this and all of his books, (as well as video seminars) I have reviewed. Some of this material will shock some Christians with traditional sensibilities about marital sex. Sex is very important to a marriage. Good sex is something we should all strive for in marriage, it is God's gift to us. This book gives straight forward, sometimes very, very straight forward (insert red face) how to information. But because sex has been hijacked by the world the church has, as a whole, ignored the topic. It is time for some good Biblical teaching. Are you married then be brave and read this book with your spouse. I think you will both be glad you did. Also it would be a great gift for newlyweds and engaged couples!