Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way

Author Gary Neuman never patronizes or preaches, and although he is technically a child advocate, he proves himself to be an advocate of every member of the divorcing family. Neuman takes a hands-on approach and believes that children need not be permanently scarred by divorce--that with work and time, divorce can actually become a positive force for change. A powerful tool for protecting children caught amid parental struggles, Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce should be required reading in all divorcing families. --Ericka Lutz

Product Description
Divorce is painful and confusing. Perhaps now more than ever, you want to give your child all the love, support, and guidance he or she needs, but everything seems harder and more complicated. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way can help. Based on Gary Neuman's phenomenally successful Sandcastles program, which has helped more than fifty thousand children cope with divorce, this warm, empathetic guide shows you:


How to build a co-parenting relationship--even when you think you can't

When you or your child should see a therapist

Age-appropriate scripts for addressing sensitive issues

What to do when a parent moves away

How to stop fighting with your ex-spouse

How to navigate the emotional turmoil of custody and visitation

How to help your child deal with change

How to cope with kids' common fears about separation

How to introduce significant others into the family and help your child cope with a new stepfamily

More than a hundred pieces of artwork from children of divorce will help you appreciate how kids perceive the experience. Dozens of special activities and fun exercises will help you communicate and get closer to your child. This guide shows you that divorce need not be an inevitable blot on children's lives, but an opportunity for them to grow and strengthen the bonds with their parents.

In the state of Vermont, it is required by the Family Court law that divorcing parents attend a 6-hour long workshop on "co-parenting" and the effects of negative parent behavior on children. What a joke! I wish instead that the state of Vermont mandated that every divorcing parent read this resource. I learned so much more from Gary Neuman and the children and families he has worked with.

This thorough book covers every topic imaginable that is associated with divorce and family transition. The focus is from the child's perspective on matters such as validating your childrens feelings, protecting your children from conflict, separating adult issues from children's issues, custody and visitation, uncooperative parents and parent-bashing, child support and financial stress, relocating, dating, and most importantly, how children "feel" about all the ups and downs associated with this life changing event.

I highly recommend this book for every parent who is experiencing a family separation. I still pull it out periodically before I crawl into bed. It's a great "reality check" and helps keep things in perspective, still, two years after our family experienced this transition.


Helpful, sensitive advice for fathers and mothers   March 26, 2000
61 out of 61 found this review helpful

I have read a number of books for divorcing parents, and this is by far the best. The range of information given is enormous (460 pages!) and covers almost any situation you can imagine. This is the ONLY book I have seen that discusses how to help infants cope with divorce. Neuman's discussion of the needs of children has given me the motivation to avoid fighting with my ex, even when he makes extremely aggravating remarks. His suggestions have also helped me keep my son's father involved; in fact, he spends much more time with our son than he ever did when we were married. The example dialogues are very helpful, and reflect the diversity of real families. Neuman is careful to avoid stereotypes, for example he gives anecdotes about deadbeat moms as well as deadbeat dads.


HELPFUL UNDERSTANDING OF HELPING KIDS IN DIVORCE   July 31, 1999
42 out of 43 found this review helpful

I STRONGLY RECOMMEND READING THIS BOOK. AFTER HEARING GARY NEUMAN SPEAK AT A BOOK SIGNING, I PURCHASED THIS BOOK. THIS BOOK HAS GUIDED ME THROUGH THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE, TO MAKE SURE THAT MY CHILD CAME THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME WIHTHOUT TOO MUCH PAIN. I HAVE REFERRED TO THIS BOOK PRIOR TO MY DIVORCE AND TO THE PRESENT, 4 MONTHS AFTER. GARY NEUMAN, WRITES IN A WONDERFUL, EASY TO UNDERSTAND MANNER FOR ALMOST EVERY SITUATION THAT WILL ARISE. BUY THIS BOOK, AND READ IT, SO YOUR KIDS AND YOU CAN HANDLE THIS DIVORCE THE SANDCASTLES WAY. IF GARY NEUMAN IS SPEAKING SOMEWHERE, GO HEAR HIM SPEAK. YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID!!


Helping Children Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way   December 30, 2001
40 out of 41 found this review helpful

I am a professional Christian Counselor. I work primarily with children and their parents. I use recommend this book for all divorced parents who wish to make things work between dad's house and mom's house. It also gives practical, easy helps for parents who do not know how to respond to their children's anger, questions and pain. I have found it very helpful and many of the families I work with have also.


A great resource for divorcing parents   November 14, 1998
drfulton@pacbell.com (California)
30 out of 30 found this review helpful

As a child therapist I found this book to be very helpful. I recommend it to all my parents who are divorcing. It is in plain, straightforward language. This book can help the millions of parents who need some insight into what the reactions of children are when their parents divorce. The book discusses developmental, co-parenting, and a plethora of related issues. His style is compassionate, lighthearted, and genuine. A must read for parents who are divorcing and professionals who work with these parents.