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Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip - Confessions of a Cynical Waiter (Unabridged) | 
 enlarge | Manufacturer: audible.com
Category: Audible
List Price: $36.95
Buy New: $19.40
You Save: $17.55 (47%)
Rating:  161 reviews
Media: Audio Download
ASIN: B001DIH1O6
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Product Description
According to The Waiter, eighty percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths. Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's truly thrived.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 156 more reviews...
 So, a priest walks into a restaurant... July 19, 2008
Patrick Oden (Lake Arrowhead, CA United States)
100 out of 112 found this review helpful
I was at a nice restaurant with my now fiance. A man walked in with a small group and proceeded to raise a ruckus. He didn't like the table they assigned. He didn't like the next table. He got angry and firm, finally taking a table near the back despite the protest of the staff. Quite rude and quite thinking he was the only one in the restaurant.
When he sat down his mother, who likely taught him such behavior, said, "First you give them a chance to do it right, then you help them do it right."
We laughed out loud. Their assumption of what they were owed did not disguise the fact they were merely boors.
I'm glad I don't have to deal with such people every day.
But waiters and waitresses do.
The author of this book started out thinking he would like to help people as a priest. He began to study for the priesthood but left when the corruption and the scandals started getting too much. Had a degree in psychology and tried his hand in the mental health care business. Also corrupt and scandal-ridden. Stayed honest, got fired.
Wandered around a little. His brother got him a job in a restaurant. Also corrupt and scandal-ridden, but at least there are no illusions. Stays a waiter. Moves to a nicer place. Begins to write about his experiences on a blog. Then in this book.
That's the background.
The book is a memoir of sorts, but not a typical kind. It's anonymous. It also dwells on a particular setting and makes particular points along the way. It's a memoir with a mission, and this is to illuminate the often hidden world of restaurants. The Waiter, as he is known, touches on important concepts such as management, illegal immigration, rude customers, good and bad service, holidays, waiter revenge, hygiene, and assorted other topics. Each chapter has a particular theme.
Yet, these themes aren't at all obvious at first. The writing is that good. The Waiter is brilliant at showing not telling, that tricky art that foils lesser writers. We are given a story, not a mere rant. He is descriptive, insightful, observing, and honest. The themes are held within an overall story that is his life, a life that has many twists and turns and disappointments.
These disappointments and disillusionment become our boon, however. Because of his background, and his great capability, we are given a wonderful view into an often disguised world. The Waiter brings to bear not only his expertise at his profession, but also psychological and spiritual insights, making this book a surprising deep read. But never overbearing and certainly never self-righteous. The honesty sometimes ventures into the vulgar, but always understandably so. It's not only the story of a man trying to find his way and providing great commentary as he goes. It's also a manual of restaurant etiquette and personalities, becoming a mirror to our often unconsidered actions.
This really is a great book, amazing insight and amazing writing throughout. Profound and readable, all while dwelling on often mundane issues. I'm going to be recommending this to most everyone I know.
Now, I sort of wish he went back into the priesthood, or maybe tried out being a Protestant pastor. I can only imagine how good he would do looking at the convoluted world of church life. But, I suspect his mission is greater than that.
He's a waiter. He's really a writer. And this book should be bought. Brilliant book. Ten stars if I could.
"Office Space" of the Restaurant world July 21, 2008
Colleen M. Schneider (San Lorenzo, CA USA)
50 out of 53 found this review helpful
As I read "Waiter Rant", I couldn't help but think that this truly was a bit like the cult film "Office Space", but for the restaurant world. Parts of the book were just flat out funny, in that kind of way that Office Space is funny to those of us who work in the corporate world.
I found I liked "the waiter" from the beginning. He is cynical, he is funny, he is smart, witty and above all not going to take a lot of "#%*%" from you if you start acting like a moron at the establishment he works at.
In the book you get the real picture of what goes in the back, the tyrannical bosses, the mal-adjusted waitstaff, the psycho customers, the good, the bad and the ugly. There are stories of meat sent back one too many times, a roaming squirrel in the dining room, and the case of the coffee that just wasn't hot enough (until the waiter fixes that for good). As he says in the book "Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Waiter". Rule 1: Always be nice to the waitstaff.
I must admit, that I had never read the waiter's prize winning blog before, so I was completely new to his writing, but hope that he keeps up the writing and entertaining us for years to come, in whatever direction his life takes him.
Oh, and do NOT miss the 40 tips on how to be a good customer, noted in the back of the book. Not only are these written with humor, but are truly those things that many of us fellow diners wish that you would stop (ahem, hel-lo cell phone users.....we are trying to have a romantic dinner here and do not really need to know about your mother's kidney stones).
Great Job "Waiter", I would give you a 25% tip for this one, and a smiley on the check to boot :)
Wishing you much success with the book, it was a great read!
I like to think of myself as the 20% tipper... July 16, 2008
S. Chi (Princeton, NJ)
36 out of 39 found this review helpful
I like to eat, dabble in cooking, read the usual food blogs, but hitherto reading the WR, I must confess that I have never heard of the WaiterRant blog or the mysterious Waiter. (One does however, learn the Waiter's first name by the end of the book. And more importantly, as I learned on wikipedia, the Waiter will shed his anonymity at 7:00 PM on Tuesday, July 29th at Borders Books inside the Time Warner Building in Manhattan.)
The Waiter details his beginnings at Amici's, where we meet the first of several psychopathic and dysfunctional managers, fellow waiters, and restaurant owners. He survives the baptism, and soldiers on as a manager at The Bistro for the next six odd years. He deftly handles the crucible that is The Bistro throughout a variety of situations; supervising the infamous Russell Crowe visit, deflecting Fluvio's rants and video camera spying, and handling the day to day obnoxious customers. Some of the chapters may have come from his blog postings, but perhaps the more faithful fans can tell me which portions were newly added.
After finishing the book, his rants inspired me to a bit of introspection regarding how to better treat the wait staff. I've asked for a different table other than my assigned table before. It's amazing what waiters have to put up with, and you will definitely appreciate them more after a good reading. Want suggestions on how to tip better? Then check out Chapter 9, ppg. 105-118. The book also comes with appendices on how to be a better customer (when ordering wine, don't sniff the cork), how to tell you're at a bad restaurant (just look at the employees' bathroom), and tips for waiters. And guys, if you're taking a girl out on a date, the Waiter suggests tipping at least 20%, because she will know.
My one complaint against the Waiter? 30 Minute Meals is his favorite show on FoodTV.
 Bad Waiter August 2, 2008
R. M. Ettinger (Cleveland Heights, OH USA)
22 out of 57 found this review helpful
It has been a long time since I have been this unimpressed with a book.
Having never seen his blog/website, I wasn't sure what to expect, but I can tell you my expectations were better than what was presented in book form. It as if anyone can have their blog put into book form and rushed to press (I wonder when MY book deal will be arriving!)
It would have been more interesting if he had truly shown how the thought he came to be a good waiter, but almost immediately, he skips from his first failed wait job to six years later and comes off as a pompous know-it-all. Hardly anything for good reading. ...or even mindless reading.
His "rants" on tipping, immigration, holidays, etc are just blathering from someone who sounds like he's complaining about others when he failed at his other positions and had to take a job in food service.
Since he worked in behavioral health, he might recognize it as "projecting".
I recognize it as a bad book.
 A Must For Fans Of The Blog July 20, 2008
Jim M. (Springfield MA)
16 out of 24 found this review helpful
One of the best books of the past year was Stewart O'Nan's LAST NIGHT AT THE LOBSTER, a beautifully written novel, telling the story of a manager of a restaurant.
Now, we have WAITER RANT to add to the new genre. It is based on a popular blog written by the anonymous "The Waiter". I wasn't familiar with the Waiter Rant website before reading this. Upon finishing, I headed on over.
WAITER RANT is not what you might expect. It isn't vignettes about bad behavior witnessed by waiters in restaurants. It is instead a memoir of one waiter, in his thirties, realizing that this is the life he has gotten himself into.
The book follows his early years and then fast forwards to after the site has become popular and he is negotiating his book deal. That few years absence is felt. We are told how popular the site is, but not enough about what was said on the site to make it so popular. I wish more of those middle years were covered. I guess since they are available free online, there wouldn't be a market for it.
"The Waiter" has a great ear for dialogue. It is very funny at times. But it left me wanting a bit more.
But then again, I'm comparing it to LAST NIGHT. Maybe if I hadn't recently read that, I would have enjoyed this a lot more.
There are essays about the popular Holidays at restaurants (Valentine's Day, Mother's Day), substance abuse, celebrities, and financial problems of waiters. And if you aren't already a good tipper, it will make you become one.
For fans of the site, and for waiters, this is a must read.
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