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Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook | 
 enlarge | Author: Drew Magary
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Category: Book
List Price: $16.99
Buy New: $11.55
You Save: $5.44 (32%)
New (42) Used (11) from $8.00
Rating:  8 reviews
Sales Rank: 30452
Media: Hardcover
Pages: 288
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1
Dimensions (in): 8 x 5.9 x 1.1
ISBN: 0316023078
Dewey Decimal Number: 818.607
EAN: 9780316023078
ASIN: 0316023078
Publication Date: October 27, 2008
Shipping: Eligible for Super Saver Shipping
Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
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Product Description
This will be the very last book you ever read. Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment.
This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to:
- Showboat using classical pantomime techniques
- Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you
- Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games
- Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both)
- Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet
So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 3 more reviews...
 There Will Be Balls October 23, 2008
Richard Travis
24 out of 26 found this review helpful
Video Review? Oh Christ, I'm so tempted to paint mouths on my balls and let them do the the whole thing. Thankfully, I don't have the technology. Or the talking balls.
This is the greatest book by a fat, gay man since the latter days of Truman Capote. In fact, if he had any literary chaps whatsoever this is the book Capote would have written.
I laughed, I cried, I masturbated furiously while wearing store-bought panties, wait....
Seriously, buy this book. Drew's a comic genius. You'll be the envy of your friends. If you had any friends. Loser.
A great book to be a little over 1/3rd of the way through October 23, 2008
John John (New York, NY)
4 out of 5 found this review helpful
I ordered this book a week ago and it came almost immediately. Which was unfortunate because I was hoping to have a little more time to build up unrealistic expectations for it to fail to reach. Since it's arrival it has been on the back of my toilet which was is a great place for it to be, since I have a short attention span and it is nicely broken up in to brief vignettes so I don't have to worry about being there too long.
Crude, Rude and Wonderful November 30, 2008
Ozark (Neosho, MO USA)
4 out of 5 found this review helpful
Under the guise of writing a handbook for professional athletes, Drew Magary has written a wickedly funny, and very truthful satire of professional athletes, and the fans who lives are obsessed with following these athletes. Mr. Magary, in a very subtle way, also asks why fans, like me, pay attention to today's professional athlete, when the highly paid, highly self-centered athlete, cares little about the fan.
This book went balls deep. October 28, 2008
Matthew Chandler (Kansas City)
3 out of 4 found this review helpful
If you are a fan of Magary's work on the blogs KSK and Deadspin, you will not be dissapointed in this book. The book basically reads like a bunch of blog posts strung together. This is a good thing. The best part of the book is that most sportsfans could have come up with it's basic premise, but only Big Daddy Balls could pull it off in such an entertaining, profane, and true fashion. I saw he described it as bathroom reading material. You would have to have eaten rotten Mexican food from a lawless border town for a week straight for this to be true. This book is hard to put down and two hour marathon bathrooms trips tend to put my legs to sleep. Buy the book and enjoy it in a comfy place. Such as your local opium den sprawled out on one of those enormous pillows.
Awesome! October 26, 2008
Jevon Jaconi (Luxemburg, WI USA)
2 out of 3 found this review helpful
Buy this book and then set aside a couple hours to read through. You will need to take a few breaks to bust out laughing.
Each and every chapter has a bunch of hilarious lines about the rewards and challenges of being an athlete.
Although my hometown (Green Bay) doesn't fare well (sad thing is I can't refute any of the author's comments), I would highly recommend this book to any sports fan!
p.s. This book made me want to buy the author a gift certificate for a tapas restaurant. :).
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